Thursday, June 7, 2012

Calling a Spade a Spade: Not as Easy as You Think

I ran to the store this morning to get a few things, and picked up a spade while I was there, because Raider and I seem to have lost ours somehow. I was amused that the spades were not labelled "spade" but "digging shovel." "Oh, how our language is impoverished," I said to myself. "Why could they not say 'spade'? Did they think people wouldn't understand it? Or couldn't look at it and see what it was for, with its sharp pointy blade? 'Digging shovel,' for all love. Next time I buy a big bowl it will probably be labelled 'mixing vessel.' Hmph."

At the checkout, I loaded my groceries on the belt, and then said to the clerk, "Also, I have a spade in the cart I need to pay for."

He said: That's not a spade.

Me: It certainly is.

Him: That's a shovel.

Me: A spade is a kind of shovel, certainly.

Him [checking label]: It says "digging shovel."

Me: Yes, a spade is a digging shovel.

Him: That's not a spade, unless you're twelve feet tall.

Me: What would you describe as a spade?

Him: You know, like a little shovel for your hand with a pointy end.

Me: Do you mean a trowel?

Him: What is a trowel?

Me: A trowel is a hand tool with a long blade, with a pointy end. It has a bend in the blade that runs the long way. The blade is shaped almost like a boat. [I demonstrate with my hands.]

Him: I've never heard of that.

Me: Oh, then what are you thinking of when you say spade?

Him: It's got a flat blade with a point...you know, like what bricklayers use to smooth their cement.

Me: That is also a trowel.

Him: But then what do you call the other thing?

Me: A garden trowel is what I would call it, if I had to make a distinction.

Him: Then what's a spade? Because that's a shovel you've got there.

Me: It is a kind of shovel that is called a spade. When I was a kid, if somebody yelled, "Susan, bring me the spade from the garage!" this is what they would expect me to bring them.

Him: I've never heard a shovel like that called a spade before.

Me: And yet it is a spade.

Him: I think you're wrong.

Me: I'm not.

No comments: